Straight Talking from Me.

Today Rob decided to cancel his Black Talon Campaign. It was the right thing to do.
It will save conflict between our friends. The campaign isn’t the cause of the conflict.
The conflict is caused because we can’t accept violence as part of our lives…even indirectly.

I’m probably going to tread on some toes here, but there are things that I need to say and I’m going to do it the best way I know how…BLUNTLY! Actual Physical Violence is not the answer to anything! If you want violence as part of your life, stay away from this household.

I’m not going to use names, because, if those concerned read this, they know them already.

Domestic violence is something I know about – intimately. I was subjected to it by two of my husbands. I realised that it wasn’t only affecting me physically, but it was actually infecting me and planting the seeds of violence in my mind.

I recognised this while lying wide awake on the lounge at 2.30am, after yet another incident…I was thinking of ways to murder my, then, husband, without being found out. The shock of that, made me decide to exclude violence in any shape or form, from my personality. The closest I ever came to reneging on that, was telling my late husband (after he had knocked me from one side of the room to the other, while in a drunken rage) that he had to sleep sometime. I said it in deadly earnest and it scared him shitless.

There is no excuse that you can give me for domestic violence. Defending ones home from intruders isn’t violence…it’s defence. If a wife attacks a husband and isn’t armed with a lethal weapon, then that man should remove himself from the situation until it’s defused. I know women can goad and provoke, but those aren’t weapons she’s using, only words, no matter how hurtful. If a woman can remove herself from danger then she should. Unfortunately I never had that luxury. The main consideration is that, if there are children involved, they are not subjected to their parents fighting. It really does leave permanent scars, as quite a few of us can attest to.

The rubbish that has been dumped on Rob and myself is not something we are going to accept. We do not want to lose good friends, but both Rob and myself have standards and ethics we will not compromise. If you feel that violent behaviour is OK, then we are sorry, but we feel you should start questioning your motives.

A friend of ours said, very recently, ‘if you want Peace, then you go visit Rob and Vickie’. It’s a wonderful compliment – even if it does make us sound rather boring. Another of our friends once said that he found our home to be a haven…I hope he continues to think so. We try to live our lives in the most peaceful way we know how. We love our friends, but we have our limitations.

The decal on our front window (just by the front door) says “This is a Peace House”…we intend to keep it that way!

Pax,

Vickie.

Posted by Midus at October 12, 2004 12:59 AM